


I'm Losing You and it's Effortless

by Peridaniel



Series: Birdsong [3]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Child Abuse, Family Issues, Gen, Isolation, and being treated like a leper because of said chronic illness curse, curse as a metaphor for chronic illness, the clawthorne parents fkin suck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27198578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peridaniel/pseuds/Peridaniel
Summary: While Lilith adjusts to life in the Emperor's Coven and looks for a way to fix what she did to get there, the more ugly effects of the curse worm their way into Eda's life as she finds herself cast away by most of her peers and growing apart from her sister.
Series: Birdsong [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969123
Comments: 19
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's where the real angst begins, though we'll start with a pretty light first chapter.
> 
> Title from Over my Head (Cable Car) by The Fray.

_Lilith was struggling to keep up with the old woman jogging, nearly running, a few feet ahead of her, taking deep breaths as her feet pounded against the path leading to Bonesborough Hospital. But the panicked and pained cries ringing in her ears, followed by the woman's soft hushes and barely audible words of comfort, drove her to push on until she finally practically tumbled into the door leading to the hospital's emergency department._

_She slowed down and caught her breath as she joined the old woman at the front desk, looking in worry at the shaking bundle of bright orange hair held closely in her arms, wincing at every cry of pain it let out._

_"What's the problem?" the receptionist asked, looking with sympathetic eyes at the shaking and crying little girl._

_"My two granddaughters-" the woman took a quick glance at Lilith- "were playing in the woods near my house, and this one got bit by a demon. I already cleaned the wound up as best as I could, but I don't know what it was, o-or if it was venomous, a-and she's only five years old..." Her voice trailed off as she looked at the child._

_"I understand," the receptionist said with a nod. "The demons you find in the little woodlots probably wouldn't do much harm beyond a mild infection, but I'll get her in as soon as I can."_

_"Thank you so much," Lilith's grandmother said. Looking to her younger granddaughter as they walked to the waiting room, she said more softly, "You'll be alright, sweetie. The doctor will be here soon and he'll fix you right up."_

_She gently placed the girl down on a chair. She was more calm after hearing those words, but still was sniffing and breathing erratically with tears streaming down her big yellow eyes as she held a spot on her right forearm tight._

_Lilith frowned at the sight. The day had started off just fine. They had been spending the week with their grandmother and on that day after school, they decided to play out in the woods. They had done so safely many times and their grandmother trusted them, especially with Lilith being old enough and responsible enough to keep an eye on her little sister and keep both of them safe and out of trouble._

_Which made her feel all the more guilty about what happened next._

_All she wanted to do was play around. She lured what she thought was a completely harmless wild demon over and tried to scare Eda with it; it would be a perfect way to get even after all the times Eda had done the same thing. It had worked, and she was satisfied, but she had not planned on the demon sinking its sharp teeth into her arm and leaving a gnarly bite, sending her into a quite justified fit of hysterics._

_Lilith walked in front of the chair and gently touched her free hand. "Eda. Eda, look at me." Her sister immediately looked her in the eyes, still sniffling and blinking away tears. "Does it still hurt?"_

_Eda's eyes widened and her lips quivered, and she nodded. Lilith nodded and held onto her hand more tightly. "Do you feel sick at all?"_

_This time, her sister shook her head and spoke in a tiny voice. "N-no, just h-hurts. And I'm scared."_

_Lilith shot her a reassuring smile. "It's okay. There's no need to be scared. Me and Grandma will be with you while the doctor makes you all better."_

_She wiped the tears away from Eda's eyes. "I won't leave you alone until you feel better."_

_"Promise?" Eda looked up at her with wide eyes._

_"I promise."_

_Eda smiled for the first time since the incident in the woods as Lilith pulled her into a tight hug and her tears began to dry._

* * *

"Hey. Hey! Hello? Earth to Egghead?" 

The sound of a voice increasing in volume along with snapping fingers reminded Lilith where she was. The bus had stopped, and looking around, Lilith knew she was now in front of the Emperor's castle. 

The sight was incredible, even as dreary as it was. The skies were red and smoky and the castle stood tall, looking down on her and shadowing over the bus. Even above the impressive structure, more fortifying walls stood even higher above, so high that Lilith could hardly even make out the top of them. 

"Wow," she said quietly. 

Another snap of the fingers caught her attention, followed by an irritated "Are you brain damaged or something?" 

"Huh?" Lilith followed the sound to the ground next to her feet and saw a small red girl, the same one that had given her an oh-so-friendly greeting when she boarded the bus, looking at her with impatient narrowed eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just that, well, the castle is so nice..." 

"And you're lucky to be in its presence," the small girl responded coldly. "From here on in, no daydreaming or drooling like an idiot over the structure you'll be spending the rest of your days in, hm?" 

"Oh, of course." Lilith blushed and sheepishly smiled as the two stepped off the bus. 

"And could you maybe stop looking like a dork? Not a very good look for the revered Emperor." 

Lilith nodded and composed herself, forcing a straight-faced expression and clearing her throat. "So, um, what's your name?" 

"Kikimora," the girl answered without turning around. 

"Okay, well, I'm-" 

"Lilith Serenity Annabelle Clawthorne, age eighteen, born February thirteenth under the sign of Aquarius, eldest daughter of Darius and Delilah Clawthorne, alumnus of Hexside School of Magic and Demonics in Bonesborough under the potions track." 

Lilith stopped and stared back at her, dumbfounded. Kikimora stopped as well, turning her head to Lilith with amusement sparkling in her eyes. "The Emperor keeps thorough records of all of his citizens. And I just had to look at the new meat the Coven was getting." 

She turned back and continued on, Lilith awkwardly getting her feet moving again as well. "I must say, I'm not impressed. I'll give you credit where it's due; you have quite the brain in that massive forehead of yours-" 

"Massive forehead?" Lilith quietly mumbled to herself, placing her palm above her eyes. 

"-but your magic skills are, well, putting it nicely, astonishingly mediocre. Perhaps for an ordinary witch, they're good, but in the Emperor's Coven?" She snorted. "You barely scratch the surface of what we need, and frankly, if it weren't for your intelligence, I doubt we'd even have you." 

As the two reached the door, the guards gave them a nod and the gate opened. Lilith took a look around the castle's interior, trying to subdue her amazement as Kikimora continued to speak to her. 

"Your _younger_ sister, on the other hand, is one of the most powerful young witches I've seen in our records. Sure, she mostly uses it for mischief, but at only sixteen, Edalyn is not only at the top of Hexside's potion track, but has also achieved mastery in all other forms of magic completely on her own. Oh, she would surely be an asset to the Coven." 

Lilith froze at the mention of her sister, her stomach tying itself in knots. Part of her resented the fact that yet _another_ person felt the need to bring up her inadequacy compared to her sister, while the other felt extreme guilt set in as the memory of what she did came crashing back. 

"When we were little," Lilith finally said quietly, staring at her feet, "we wanted to be in the Emperor's Coven together." 

"And how did that work out?" After a beat with no response to that question from Lilith, she continued speaking. "Hm, from what I've heard of how your poor excuse for a Witches' Duel went, she doesn't seem interested in any coven anymore, despite covens being required by law. Funny how it was soon after saying this that she became whatever that monster was. And was that a gray streak I saw in her hair when she was sending you off today? Hm. Karmic retribution for her actions, it seems." 

Lilith's hands curled into fists and she narrowed her eyes. Part of her wanted to punt that little jerk across the hall, but she knew that it would be irrational. After all, it wasn't _her_ fault that Eda was cursed. A cold feeling rose from her already twisted stomach. 

Kikimora turned to her with narrowed eyes, with what she said next intensifying the dread building up inside of Lilith. 

"Or, at least, that's what the people will say." 

"What do you mean?" Lilith asked, firmly but quietly. 

"I don't know. What _do_ I mean?" 

"Kikimora," a firm, deep male voice sounded, prompting Lilith to loosen up her hands and look up in wonder. "I'd appreciate it if you'd stop bothering our new recruit." 

"Yes, my liege," Kikimora responded, bowing to the new presence in the hall and walking away with a glare at Lilith. 

Dressed in dark, elegant robes with a golden mask hiding his face, standing before Lilith was the unmistakable image of Emperor Belos. 

"I apologize for my assistant's impolite behavior," he said calmly. "She tends to antagonize new members of my Coven, particularly those bigger than her." 

Lilith got on one knee and bowed to the Emperor. "It is an honor to be a part of your Coven, Emperor." 

Belos nodded. "It is a great privilege to be here, only granted to those who truly deserve it." 

Lilith stifled a frown and pushed away another one of the guilty thoughts that had been crashing into her mind constantly and tried to allow the warm excitement of being complimented by the Emperor replace it. 

The Emperor continued. "You have intelligence that the Coven has unfortunately been lacking in recent years. You're a promising young witch who I believe could make a great addition to the Coven, possibly even taking over as leader one day." 

"Really?" The eager word slipped out of Lilith's mouth before she thought about it, and she quickly clamped her mouth shut and looked down sheepishly. But her mind still raced. Leader of the Emperor's Coven? 

Luckily, the Emperor didn't seem to be upset. "Yes. However, Kiki, despite her rather blunt way of wording it, did have a point when she said your magical proficiency could use some work. That said, you're still young and have plenty of potential. I will be happy to teach you." 

Lilith gasped, but bit her tongue to prevent talking out of turn again. Emperor Belos himself was going to take her under his wing! 

"How do you feel about that?" 

"Oh! Y-yes, sir, I would be honored to train under you." 

Belos nodded in satisfaction. "Good. If it's alright with you, I think we will begin this training first thing tomorrow. I am a very busy man, so I hope the time I make for you will be worth it." 

"Yes, sir," responded Lilith. "I promise to put in all my effort to learn what you're teaching me." 

"I'm glad to hear that. Now, you have permission to stand. I'll send one of the senior members of the Coven to give you a tour of the castle and show you where you will be sleeping."

* * *

The rest of Lilith's first day in the Emperor's Coven had gone by in a flash. A whole tour of the castle followed by an induction ceremony had worn her out, and she was happy to fall directly onto her soft bed the moment she stepped in her new quarters. 

She smiled to herself. Her first day in the Emperor's Coven had gone great. The Emperor himself was going to teach her magic, and even said she could be the coven leader one day! It was incredible. 

Looking at her nightstand, she saw a phone. She had to call Eda and... 

Eda. Her heart sank. Through the day, Lilith had been able to forget what she had done to get there. For all she knew, her sister could be transformed and in danger while she lay in a luxurious bed enjoying the benefits of what she put her in that potential danger to get. 

She sighed, picking up the phone with a heavier heart than before, and dialed. _Avoiding her isn't going to help anything. I need to be there for her, even here._

After it rang for a few moments, a gruff, short-sounding male voice sounded. "Clawthorne household. Who is this?" 

Lilith sighed. Her parents were home. "Um, hello, Father." 

"Where the hell have you been?" 

Lilith smiled and let some pride leak into her voice. "In my new quarters at the Emperor's Castle. I'm part of his coven now." 

Her father snorted. "Yes, I've heard. Couldn't find a more qualified witch to fill that spot, could they?" 

The smile faded. Why Lilith expected his response to be any different than that after eighteen years of the same damn thing, she didn't know. 

"Now, what do you want? It's very late, and your mother and I were trying to get some sleep." 

"Well, I-" 

"Don't they have clocks in the Emperor's Castle? The time zone difference isn't that different, Lilith, for Titan's sake..." 

"Is Edalyn home?" 

Her father snorted once again, this time with much more contempt. "Maybe, maybe not. I haven't seen her. Probably out starting trouble with those delinquent friends of hers. Why?" 

Anxiety rose in Lilith's stomach. "Well, Father, she's been... sick, and I'm worried about her." 

"Well then, why the hell did you prance off to the Emperor's Coven if you're so worried about your sister? If it's really that bad, maybe you should stop being a bother to the Emperor and get back over here. She's your responsibility." 

Lilith swallowed the feelings of guilt. "She's your daughter," she said quietly. 

A pause on the other end of the line. "I'll check on her in the morning. Happy?" 

"But Father-" Lilith began to protest before she heard the line go dead. 

She rested her head back down on her pillow and stared up at the ceiling. For all she knew, Eda could have transformed without anyone there to help her and been caught by demon hunters, or worse. It wasn't right that their parents didn't care, but she couldn't make herself be that mad at them. Even aside from their apathy being what she'd come to expect, she was just as in the wrong, if not more, for not only causing it, but still leaving anyway. She had to go back. 

But then she thought of the reason she resisted her instincts to stay in the first place. She had the power to heal the curse in the Emperor's Coven, while she likely couldn't provide anything more than temporary relief at home, and who knows if she could even continue to provide that? 

She could make things right. She _had_ to make things right. She'd cure her sister and they could both live happily without Lilith being burdened by guilt or Eda by the curse. Eda just had to make it a little longer. 

Which Lilith didn't even know if she'd be making it through the night. 

She closed her eyes and whispered a quiet prayer for her sister's safety before falling into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

_Lilith's grandmother looked disappointed, but not as mad as she was expecting._

_"So, you lured the demon out to scare your sister?"_

_Lilith shamefully nodded, avoiding her gaze._

_"Lilith Clawthorne, that was very irresponsible."_

_"I didn't think it would bite her like that," Lilith mumbled._

_"It doesn't matter. The demons in the forest aren't something to play around with."_

_"I know. I'm sorry."_

_Her grandmother's face softened. "I know, sweetie. It's not me you should be apologizing to, though. Eda was the one who got bit by that demon."_

_"But she'll get mad at me if I tell her."_

_"Oh, I'm sure she will, but you still have to tell her you lured the demon out and apologize for it."_

_"But why? She's okay now, and I'm not gonna do it again."_

_"That doesn't matter. If you do something wrong to someone, it doesn't matter if you can fix it or if it's all better. You need to admit what you did and apologize. It also doesn't matter if you feel bad for it if you don't tell them that."_

_Lilith nodded. "Yes, Grandma. I understand."_

_"Good." Her grandmother smiled and got up to walk outside. "Now, I'm going to tend to the garden for a while. I'm sure you and Edalyn will be okay."_

_Lilith nodded as she watched her walk out the door. Not long after she did, she heard the noise of tiny feet pounding into the kitchen and saw her little sister looking at her with a smile, showing off her missing tooth._

_"Hi, Lily!" she shouted._

_"Hey," Lilith responded with a smile. "How are you? Is the bite getting any better?"_

_"Yea, it doesn't hurt anymore."_

_Lilith remembered what her grandmother said. "I'm sorry."_

_"Why are you sorry, Lily?"_

_Lilith hesitated for a moment, feeling anxiety rise in her stomach. She sighed and smiled again. "I dunno. Let's go play outside."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their grandma is based off of the old lady seen with the Clawthorne kiddos in the pilot storyboard (at least, that's where I heard it came from?). It's been floating around on tumblr and its p cute. 
> 
> It actually took me a while to figure out how I wanted to write Mr. and Mrs. Clawthorne in this story, and I still don't know if this is really how I think of them being, but I thought this kind of behavior would work best. The way the dad treats Lilith is kinda based off of how Wesley Wyndam-Pryce's father in the show Angel treats him. Very dismissive of his son's successes and belittles him for his faults, not to mention just being a rude old asswipe in general. With Eda... well, you've seen a bit of what he thinks of her, and you'll see more of that next chapter. 
> 
> Until then, byyyyeeee.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a month to get this one out, but this chapter was hard to write for some reason. I knew what I wanted to happen in this chapter, but everything I was trying to actually write for it felt rushed, forced, unnatural, or just all around shitty. But after diving into it again today and spending a few hours on it, I think I've got it down. 
> 
> Also, with that, you'll notice that this part is now projected to have four chapters now instead of three. It's because the events of the next chapter were originally going to be in this one, and the events of this chapter were originally going to be just a few quick bits at the beginning. Well, then I realized that that would be compressing the fuck out of it, so now what was originally going to be the meat of this chapter will be the next chapter. more content yay

Eda woke up feeling like her head was full of lead. She slowly opened her eyes, a daunting task given how heavy her eyelids felt, and looked around. She was still in her bed, her room wasn't destroyed, and there were no feathers. She hadn't transformed again. 

She breathed a sigh of relief and turned over, wrapping her blanket more tightly around herself and letting her heavy eyes close. 

She had only fallen asleep again for around half an hour before she awoke once again, hearing footsteps from elsewhere in the house. For a moment, she figured it was just Lilith, waking up early as she often did, even though it was a Sunday. 

But as her mind began to wake up, she remembered with bittersweet sadness that Lilith was in the Emperor's Coven now. She felt a pang in her heart as she thought of her sister. Lilith was surely happy and doing well there, but it would still take time for Eda to get used to her not always being there. 

A hot pit opened up in Eda's stomach as she turned her focus back to the footsteps she heard. Even with Lilith gone, there was still someone else there, which meant that either someone had broke in, or her parents had come home. She wasn't entirely sure which was worse. 

_Well, I guess I haven't been dealing with burglars on a sporadic basis for the past sixteen years,_ she thought as she rubbed her bleary eyes and dragged herself out of bed with a groan, _so I suppose they're worse._

She snuck to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, a mirthless smile forming on her face as she saw how much of a mess she looked like. Her hair was sticking out in every direction, some of it hanging over her face in uneven strands, and her eyes were surrounded by bags. 

"Good Titan," she said in quiet surprise. _I look like Dad if he were a woman._ She shook her head and closed her eyes. _Ew, no. Not funny. Horrible._

She stared in the mirror and slid her hands back through the rogue strands of hair, pushing it back until it was the much more organized mess it usually was. She turned on the sink and splashed some water in her face, bringing some life back to her eyes. 

_Good enough,_ she thought as she left the bathroom. _Now just gotta make it through the morning, eat something, and stay at Elliot's until they wander off again._

Going out to the kitchen, Eda found her mother sitting at the table with a mug of apple blood and a slice of toast, her father nowhere in sight. That was better, at least, especially considering she could smell that the apple blood was the non alcoholic kind. 

"Good morning," her mother greeted with a small smile. "You're up awfully early." 

"Hey," responded Eda flatly. She avoided looking at her mother for too long, instead turning away and grabbing a muffin from the counter. They probably weren't as fresh as they were two days earlier, but they were still edible. After grabbing a mug of her own and pouring the remaining apple blood into it, she sat at the table across from her mother, looking down only at her food. 

"Hm, you've been awake for nearly two minutes and I haven't heard a single smart-mouthed comment or insult yet," her mother said with a surprised tone. "Color me impressed. Perhaps that school is teaching you something after all." 

Her mother's amiable tone took some of the edge off Eda's dread, and she let herself look up for just a moment at her face. Her blue eyes almost looked warm, and the small smile on her face almost looked friendly. Almost. 

Lilith had inherited those same features and they always shone with pure love and friendliness that their mother's face could never quite match even on the best of days. Eda looked back down, locking her eyes on the stale muffin and mug of apple blood. 

"What happened to your hair?" her mother asked. 

Eda's eyes widened. Did they not know what happened? Did no one tell them about the transformation incident? 

"Um..." 

Her mother laughed. "Oh, I dyed my hair a lot when I was your age, too. I should show you some of my old yearbook pictures from that time." After a beat, she added, "Hmmm, gray wouldn't be the color I'd expect you to go with, but if it's what the kids are into..." 

"And I suppose I'd rather you have ridiculous hair and behave than have your normal hair while being a degenerate," a gruff male voice said. 

The dread in Eda's stomach sunk back in as she slowly looked up at her father. He stood over her with folded arms and a straight face lined with irritation, but he still appeared more calm than usual. His spiked up bright orange hair had grown some gray streaks of its own since she last saw him, causing her to put a nervous hand on her own streak of gray. 

"What's wrong, little girl?" he asked, stepping forward. "Afraid of looking like your father?" 

Eda let her hand drop and looked her father in the eye. "Nah. Are you afraid I wear your looks better, hot stuff?" 

"There she is," she heard her mother say. 

Eda shook away what she said and focused even more intensely on her father, whose eyes twitched. As his hand curled into a fist, she lifted her finger into the air while keeping a cold, steady gaze on him. Her magic had been feeling weak since the day the transformation first occurred, but he didn't know that, and wouldn't have to if he backed down anyway. 

Luckily, his hand relaxed and he walked fast to the other side of the kitchen, instantly grabbing the hard apple blood and pouring himself a glass before downing it all and pouring another one. 

"Your sister called," he said, not looking his daughter in the eye. Eda immediately looked at where he was and paid attention. 

Her father took a long sip from his glass. "Odd that she's in the Emperor's Coven now. Odd that the Emperor would go with someone so... underqualified." He waved his hand dismissively. "At any rate, call her back." 

"Be sure to do it quickly," her mother added, the almost-friendly tone from earlier nearly gone from her voice. "Those Coven members work most of the day." 

Her father grunted and drank down the rest of his glass. Eda finished her mug of apple blood, took one more bite out of her muffin, and ran to her bedroom. 

"Either finish your breakfast or give it to the birds outside!" her father shouted. 

"I'll finish it when I'm done calling Lilith!" Eda shouted back. 

She grabbed the phone on her dresser and the book next to it, flipping to the page listing the number to the Emperor's castle, followed by the extensions for each of the members of his coven. She smiled triumphantly when she saw the name _Lilith Clawthorne,_ the glow around it indicating that it was added to the books recently. She dialed the number as quickly as she could and waited for an answer.

* * *

Lilith woke up after an uneasy sleep to the ringing of the phone by her bed. _Eda can answer it,_ she thought. _It's probably for her, anyway._

Her eyes snapped open, though, as she remembered where she was. _I'm in the Emperor's Coven now! It might be Eda calling, or Mom or Dad!_

She quickly grabbed the phone. "Hello? Hello! Good morning, er, hello! Greetings! Um, E-Emperor's Comforter- I-I mean Coven! Emperor's Coven member Clilith Lawthorne- I mean- _Gah!"_

A soft snort and laugh filled the other end of the line, immediately wiping away Lilith's anxiety. "Having trouble there?" 

"Eda," she said softly, a smile spreading over her face. "How are you? Are you feeling okay? Oh, I tried calling last night, but-" 

"The old bastard picked up the phone, I know," responded Eda coolly. "I'm all good. No nasty owl beast, and the 'rents don't seem to even know what happened, thank the Titan." 

"Good." 

"Anyway, how are you doing? Livin' the dream with the Emperor's Coven?" 

Lilith eagerly gasped as she remembered what happened the previous day. "Emperor Belos actually said that he'd be training me!" 

"No way!" 

"Yes! And he also said that I have potential to be the leader of his coven one day!" 

"Holy shit, Lily!" Eda yelled. "You gotta promise me, when that happens, can I have full name-dropping and bragging rights?" She imitated a more confident tone. "'Name's Eda Clawthorne. Yes, Clawthorne, as in, Lilith Clawthorne, the dope ass leader of the Emperor's Coven. She's my older sister, no big deal.'" 

Lilith laughed as Eda continued. "'Oh, yes, despite how amazing she is now, she was an absolute dork when we were kids. When we were little and we met the Emperor for the first time, she actually wet her pants and had to wear those stupid-'" 

"Okay, that's enough," Lilith cut her off, her face, although still smiling, turning red. "Yes, full bragging rights _if_ it actually happens." 

"If?" repeated Eda. _"When,_ Lilith. When. I don't even know the other losers in the Emperor's Coven, but I don't have to. You're the greatest one there." 

_The "greatest one there" wouldn't have done harm to their family to get there._ Lilith's smile faltered as the guilty thoughts came crashing back in her mind, followed by the image of Eda throwing the Witches' Duel and walking away, and another of her, as the owl beast, looking at Lilith with terror, and another image of her passed out on the ground and being held up by Elliot, and more screaming deafeningly in her mind of every time surrounding these incidents that Eda had encouraged her and told her how much she deserved it. 

"Hello?" 

"I'm still here." Lilith snapped back to reality, forcing the voices in her head to quiet down. 

"I get it, Lily. You're still being all humble and insecure like you always are. But really, you are gonna be the leader of the coven one day. And you'll be the best leader any of the covens have ever seen." 

The guilty voices and flashbacks rose in volume again, threatening to block out the sound of Eda's voice and choke Lilith to block her own. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" she managed to blurt out. 

"Oh, is that what you're still on about? I'm fine." 

Before Lilith could say anything more, she heard the door open up and saw Kikimora staring at her impatiently. 

"The Emperor wants to begin his training of you," she said. "Right now." 

"Oh, um, yes," Lilith said to her, covering the beak on the phone. "Just give me a moment. I'm on the phone with my sister." 

"Right now," Kikimora repeated firmly, drawing a spell circle that clamped the beak shut and levitating the phone back onto Lilith's nightstand. "The Emperor will not wait for you, Lilith. You must be ready and prompt." 

Lilith stared at the phone with a frown and sighed, getting up and following her out of the room. "Yes, Kiki."

* * *

Eda stared at the phone in numb shock. Had Lilith just hung up on her? Without even saying goodbye? And she was acting rather strange during the last few moments of their conversation... 

_Probably just had something she had to do,_ she thought, putting her phone back down and walking to her closet. _Something she had to do urgently. Emperor's Coven, I guess._

* * *

After Eda had showered and gotten dressed, bringing her a little more to life, and packed an overnight bag with her school uniform, a pair of night clothes, and some snacks, she went out to where her parents were sitting in the living room. Both were on the couch, her mother resting her head on her father's shoulders, watching something on the crystal ball. 

"I'm... gonna go to Elliot's," she muttered, slowly and tentatively. 

Her father sighed and looked back at her with a glare. Her mother lifted her head from his shoulder and Eda quickly turned her head away when she turned her head and followed her husband's gaze. 

"You may be sixteen, Edalyn, but when we are home, you still live under our rules," her father said firmly in response. "Look me in the eyes when I'm talking, young lady!" 

Eda quickly turned her head back towards her father, keeping her head and eyes locked steady on him. 

"Try that again, but do it the way you should be doing it this time," her father growled. 

Eda sighed, biting back another smart-ass response. She'd never get away if she answered like that. 

"May I go to Elliot's house?" she asked flatly. 

"Whatever," her father replied, both he and his wife turning back towards the crystal ball. "I've no use for you here today anyway." 

Eda breathed a quiet sigh of relief, but looked at the overnight bag with uncertainty. "Can I also spend the night?" 

_"May_ you," her mother said without facing her. 

Eda rolled her eyes. "May I also spend the night?" 

Her father didn't immediately respond, but when he did, Eda lip-synced his usual response in light amusement. "I will give her father a call when night falls. If I hear that you and that brat have even started the smallest bit of trouble, or that you are not at her house ready to go to bed at that time, I will be there faster than you would _ever_ be able to run. Understand?" 

"Yes, sir," responded Eda with a mock salute. With that, she went out the door and walked the path to Bonesborough.

* * *

Even just from the exterior, Elliot's house always looked much more warm and welcoming than Eda's. The good memories of her father welcoming Eda and Lilith into their home with open arms, feeding them his amazing cooking, and caring for them in a way their father never did almost made up for the bad memories of their father that would lead them to his home in the first place. 

She didn't hesitate to knock on the door, and it wasn't long before the tall, tan-skinned, buff man answered with a face just as friendly and welcoming as ever. 

"Hey there, Carrot Top," he greeted with a smile. Taking a glance at her hair and putting a finger to his stumbled chin, he said, "Though it looks like this carrot's going gray. What's up with that?" 

"Hey, Adam. Um, yea." Eda looked at her feet with a frown. "Did Elliot tell you what happened?" 

Adam still smiled, but it grew more bittersweet. "I see. Yes, and I've been trying to figure out what's wrong so I can help you." 

"You think it can be fixed?" Eda looked back up at him. 

"Maybe. Heh, I mean, if nothing else, it'll give me something useful to do. Something other than-" he spoke in a falsetto and put his hands up- "'Oh, Mr. Burkle, I need a pain relieving potion! My son has a papercut!'" He and Eda both laughed. "On a happier note, though, heard Lilith's in the Emperor's Coven now." 

"Yep." Eda let herself smile again. 

"That's great! Although I gotta say, it will be weird to only have you coming over. But still it was very nice of you to let her have that spot." 

Eda waved her hand. "She's my sister. And she wants it way more than me, and deserves it. Believe me, I wouldn't throw a Witches' Duel for anyone else." 

"That's my girl." Adam nodded and opened the door further. "Come on in." 

Elliot was walking down the stairs just as Eda walked in, and quickly shot her friend a smile. "Eda, hey!" She walked over as Eda set her overnight bag down. "You didn't say you were coming over. Or sleeping over. Darius and Delilah decide to pop in and say hello?" 

"Yes," answered Eda, rolling her eyes. "Same as they always are." 

Adam grunted and patted Eda on the shoulder. "Unfortunately, they'll probably never change." He walked away and up the stairs. "I'll set up the spare bed and then cook you some lunch. As always, stay as long as you need to." 

"So," Elliot began, scanning her friend for anything that seemed off, "are you feeling okay?" 

Eda sighed and fell back onto her friend's couch. "I had to hide it around my parents, and Lilith called today- had to fake it for her. But truth is, no, not really." 

"People have already been talking," said Elliot as she sat beside her. 

"Ah, let 'em talk. If everyone at school is all scared of me, it'll just give me an opportunity to mess with them." 

"It's not just classmates, E. I've heard people in the streets talking about you. They- they think the Titan is punishing you." 

Eda shot up at looked at Elliot with a face twisted with anger and confusion. "What?" 

"Your whole 'covens aren't really my style' thing you said when you forfeited the duel. People think that yoir rejection of the coven system made the Titan angry, and he's punishing you for it now." 

Eda narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "Emperor Belos' bullshit has been drilled into the public's heads deeper than I thought." 

"You're telling me." 

"They see someone who's stronger with all forms of magic than what any of them could ever even dream of being, and think that the Titan is punishing me for wanting to use it all without being a slave to the idiot who doesn't want me to." She folded her arms and shook her head again. "Man, I'm happy that Lily's doing what she wants, but sometimes, I wonder how happy I should _really_ be that my own sister is in a group that enforces the system I've grown to despise." 

"Fuck the system," Elliot muttered. 

Eda nodded. "Cheers to that." 

After a pause, Elliot spoke again. "So, you wanna go to school tomorrow?" 

Eda looked up in thought before nodding. "Sure, whatever. Maybe if I go owl beast mode again, I can make a biting political statement out of it." 

"Well, from what I've seen, it'd probably be more of a _scratching_ political statement." 

"Hm, I had sharp claws, did I?" 

"Oh, yes. Talons. Plenty sharp enough to scratch 'EMPEROR BELOS CAN KISS MY FEATHERY ASS' into the wall in capital letters." 

Eda laughed before throwing her hand across her forehead in mock anguish. "Oh, no! In doing that, I'd anger the Titan even more!" 

Elliot smiled and threw her hand to her mouth. "Gasp! Is he going to punish you further?" 

"Oh, I do not wish to know! Perhaps I should give in to the Emperor's will and become a conformist dweeb!" 

The two laughed and Eda shot her friend a grateful look before staring at the ceiling. It was nice to not only have someone who cared, but someone who understood. Someone who could joke about it with her. 

Her mind wandered to Lilith in the Emperor's Coven. Their conversation that morning was rather abruptly cut short. When would they get the opportunity for a real talk again, the type of long, meaningful talks they always had growing up? Would Lilith be too busy? 

And furthermore, she was serving the highest rank of the system that Eda had been deeply questioning the validity of. The system that was now leading everyone in Bonesborough to believe that whatever was going on with Eda was a punishment for not conforming. 

"Alright, Carrot Top," Adam said as he came down the stairs with a clap of his hands. "Guest bed's all ready to go." 

"Thanks, Adam," Eda said, breaking out of her thoughts. 

As she and Elliot followed Adam into the kitchen to help make lunch, Eda felt a strange and cold feeling set in, a mix of loneliness, resentment, and some anger. 

She tried to push these feelings away, and pretend that it wasn't the thought of her sister in the Emperor's Coven causing them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea, so, when I said I had trouble making this chapter feel right, I mostly mean I had trouble giving Delilah/Mrs Clawthorne/Eda and Lilith's mom the right vibes. Their dad is fairly easy, he's the all-around asshole, but their mom... well, I wanted her to be more complicated. 
> 
> Some trivia for those who want it: this chapter has two deleted scenes that I might post either on here or tumblr at some point (lmk if you're interested). One of them is just Eda being a little shit and tossing a hex onto her parents' staff to make it go crazy when they try to fly it, and the other one is another flashback scene, like the one that bookended the last chapter. I cut the flashback because it didn't really add much other than a bit of context that you would have probably already been able to gather and some more sad-in-hindsight sister fluff. But again, if you're interested, I'd be happy to post it. 
> 
> Finally, I added a song snippet to the end of part 1 and made a playlist for this series that I'll continue to update as the series goes on with both the songs that the titles of each part come from and the songs I stick at the end: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4suCzlfJS6JwBXX9EETle3?si=RkrsZs9BSIueJuyiJk66lw
> 
> aight I'm done, peace out


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Child abuse (yes, I'd argue worse than the previous chapter), brief depictions of violence and blood, and a lot of ostracization. 
> 
> other than that, big sad

At school Monday morning, Odalia instantly made her way to the rest of her clique. 

"Hello, my dear close companions," she said with a smile. "And hello to you, too, Priscilla." 

The three-eyed girl standing in front of the other in the group turned towards Odalia, folding her arms and rolling her eyes. "What do you want?" 

"Oh, just wanted to talk current events with those interested," replied Odalia. "You know, what happened on Friday. Lilith Clawthorne in the Emperor's Coven, and, more importantly, Edalyn Clawthorne afflicted with some monster transformation thing." 

"Oh, I was at the whole party she and that freak Elliot Burkle were throwing for Lilith," the pink-haired boy standing next to Priscilla said. "She passed out and Elliot chased everybody out. I'm, like, almost positive she was about to turn into that thing again." 

"So I've heard," responded Odalia. "So, do you think she's smart enough to stay at home, or do you think she's gonna come to school today?" 

"I hope she comes, to be honest." The boy pulled out a camera. "I didn't have my camera when she turned the first time. And if I can get a picture and get it in the school paper, can you imagine how much of a story that would make? My journalism career would totally take off." 

"As super cool as that would be, Layden, I don't think that would be such a good idea," Priscilla said. "We don't even know what this is. What if it's, like, contagious or something?" 

"For once, Priscilla, you speak the truth," said Odalia with a smirk. "She plays around with sketchy magic and hexes more than she does anything for her own track. Chances are, she caught something weird from one of those and is now gonna pass it on to the rest of us." 

Layden gasped. "Oh, Titan, ohhhh, Titan! I literally can't deal with that! I mean, an outbreak of a weird monstrous disease would make a super great story for the paper, but what if it happened to me? I would actually die." 

"And you probably would," said Priscilla. "I don't know what she caught it from, but there's one thing I know for sure. Or, well, I don't know it for sure, but I've heard other people saying it and it makes total sense. She's always done all of her stupid wild magic, learning from a bunch of different tracks she's not in. She even said straight out that she doesn't like covens or whatever. There's, like, no way the Titan approves of that trash. If she doesn't get it together, well... rip to her, I guess." 

"Ooh, can I write her obituary?" asked Layden with a smile. 

Odalia's smirk grew. "Actually, I think she'll be living quite the long, miserable life."

* * *

"Holding up okay?" Elliot asked as she and Eda walked towards the school. 

"You've asked me that five times," replied Eda. 

"Because you've looked winded practically since we left my house. A bit concerning, especially since I once saw you and Lily race around the grudgby field for three hours straight." 

Eda wiped sweat off her forehead and frowned. "Shit." 

"Alright, you're going to a healer after school." 

"But-" 

"I will drag you there no matter how much you scream, Clawthorne." 

"I'll flay you before you even manage to get a decent hold on me, Burkle." 

"The fact that I don't think you can do that right now makes me want to take you in even more. Now, come on. In school before you end up passing out." 

"Ah, yes. Because school will absolutely prevent that." 

Walking through the doors led the two to the usual bustling before-school crowd of Hexside, but the moment Eda came into everyone's view, the bustle suddenly grew just a bit quieter, not enough that it was silent altogether, but enough that she could notice a change. 

"Is she seriously here after what happened?" one kid whispered to his friend. 

"What if she transforms into that freaky owl thing again?" another kid whispered to their group. 

"She's gonna eat us!" another kid in the group replied. 

"Shut up! I heard that creatures like her can smell fear." 

_Unless that kid's fear is deodorant, I doubt that,_ Eda thought. 

As she continued through the hall, she saw Odalia, Alador, Priscilla, and Layden pass her. 

"Keep an eye on the water fountains, guys," Priscilla said, looking Eda dead in the eye and speaking plenty loud enough that she could hear her. "Wouldn't want an outbreak of, like, owl-itis, or whatever." 

Layden pulled out his camera and took a picture of Eda, the flash catching her by surprise. As he and the girls walked away, though, Alador stayed behind, looking uneasily at Eda as if there was something he wanted to say. 

"What?" she asked. "You're not gonna get all weird, too, are you?" 

Alador opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Odalia's "Come on, Alador. We don't want to be late for homeroom," prompting him to jog away to catch up with the rest of his group. 

Eda frowned and glued her eyes to the floor in front of her, trying to tune out the whispers from all the other students until she finally reached her locker and threw her backpack inside, pulling out only her stuff for her potions classes as she walked away. 

"Don't let those assholes get to you," said Elliot. 

"I usually wouldn't," Eda responded. "But what if they're right? What if whatever this is is contagious? I don't know. I hardly know what's been going on at all." 

"Well, if it is, you can always spit in their food." 

Eda smiled, but it was a small smile that faded in an instant. "And you? Or Lily? What if you both catch this?" 

Elliot shook her head. "All jokes aside, I don't think this is anything contagious." 

"But you don't know that." Eda stopped by the open cabinet of crystal balls for the Oracle track and looked despondently at her reflection in it. 

A week ago, she had been proud of what she saw in that reflection, looking triumphantly at her fiery hair, lit-up eyes, and confident smile. Now, she hardly recognized the empty face she was seeing, her eyes dull and tired, and the gray streak in her hair making her nauseous. 

"I don't know what's happening to me at all," she said in almost a whipser. 

Elliot walked to her side and placed a hand on her shoulder. "None of us do, Eda. Everything everyone is saying is just stupid assumptions." 

The bell rang, prompting the two to walk to their first class. Eda stuck behind for a moment, staring at her reflection, before following Elliot to the Potions Track homeroom.

* * *

As Eda walked into the classroom, the teacher threw her arm out to stop her. 

"Pleased that you actually decided to show up today, Miss Clawthorne, but with what's been happening with you, I can't have you too close to the other students," she said in a flat tone. "I've set up a desk for you in the back, away from everyone else." 

"What?" Eda asked, more dumbfounded than anything else. 

"I'm sorry, Edalyn, but I need to ensure that all students are safe. You can get back with the main group if a doctor confirms that whatever you've got isn't contagious." 

"Yea, Clawdork." Priscilla looked up from a potion she was making. "Back of the class, you diseased freak." 

"Priscilla," the teacher said in a stern tone. 

Eda frowned, but didn't argue as she shuffled to the back of the classroom. As Elliot opened her mouth to protest, she instantly shut it again as Eda held her hand up to stop her. 

"Super impressed with you actually coming to class today," whispered Priscilla as Eda walked by her. "Maybe this whole thing will stop if you keep that up and join functioning society." 

"Yea, well, I've always hoped that maybe your 'whole thing' will stop if I slap you hard enough," Eda whispered back, "but clearly-" 

"Edalyn, get to your desk in the back please," the teacher ordered. 

"Whatever," Eda mumbled back as she threw her stuff down on the desk.

* * *

After her morning classes were over, Eda walked over to her locker. She frowned when she saw the words painted onto it in black. 

_THE TITAN'S  
WRATH IS  
UPON  
YOU_

Under the graffiti, there was a piece of paper taped on. Lifting it up, Eda looked with narrowed eyes at the crude drawing of an owl-like monster with black eyes on it screaming with its clawed hands in the air and the words _"I've decided that covens aren't really my style"_ written over it. 

Crushing the paper in her fist, she looked to the side and saw a group of kids speedwalking away. 

"Hey, dipshits," she said firmly, stopping the kids in their tracks. Uncrumpling and holding up the paper, she asked, "Did you do this?" 

"It was his idea, not mine!" one of them squeaked, pointing to a taller boy standing next to him. "Please don't give me your owl beast germs, or try to eat me!" 

"Hey!" the taller boy screamed. 

Eda stared daggers at them, but her exhaustion superceded her anger fairly quickly. "You really think I give a shit whose idea it was?" She crumpled the paper in her fist again and chucked it at them. "Beat it." 

After the boys ran off, she stared back at the locker with a despondent frown. _So it's true,_ she thought. _This is what people think of me now. That I'm a traitor to what the grand ol' Titan wants and this is my divine punishment._

She threw her things in her locker and punched it as hard as she could, mirthlessly smirking as some of the paint came off on her knuckles. _Didn't even bother to hex it. Idiots._

As she walked through the hallway to the cafeteria, a group of elementary students walked on the other side of the hallway with their teacher. The kids all scurried as far away from Eda as they could as their teacher filed them through quicker, looking at Eda with a mix of fear and anger. One of the children lagged behind and looked at Eda. 

"My mommy and daddy say that you're a monster," she said. 

"Come on, Cyra," the teacher said sternly, and the child quickly caught up with the rest of her class. 

Eda simply watched them walk away, the look on the teacher's face and the words from the little girl sinking in. It wasn't even just adults or people in her own class. In a matter of days, the teachers had gone from seeing her as an annoyance to a threat, and the students had gone from seeing her as the cool, rebellious grudgby star player to a monster that they should stay away from at all costs. 

She felt more anger rise inside of her, making her blood run hot. This was unfair. She didn't ask for it, she didn't want it, and she didn't believe for a damn second that it was caused by the "Titan's wrath". Was there anyone that saw her as a sick kid instead of a foolish rebel who was getting what was coming to her? Was there anyone other than Lilith and Elliot who cared? 

If it weren't for the fatigue that took away the drive to even lift up her arms again, she would have probably punched even more lockers on her way to the cafeteria, or start a fight with the next person to look at her wrong. 

Not even bothering to buy food she wasn't going to eat, Eda walked sluggishly and miserably over to where Elliot was sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, away from everyone else. 

"Everyone knew I'd wanna be sitting with you, so they preemptively moved away," Elliot explained. "There's a plus- you're an idiot repellent." 

Eda smiled without humor. "So glad that you can see positives in the absolute fucking mess my life has become." 

"Are things really that bad?" 

"Oh, no, people avoiding me and talking about how I've incurred the Titan's wrath by throwing the middle finger to our tyrannical Emperor's bullshit authoritarian system is just wonderful." She held up her hand in a fist, black paint from the locker graffiti still staining her knuckles. "This is from some lovely graffiti some jerky chickenshits put on my locker." 

Elliot sighed. "I'm sorry." 

Eda shrugged and shook her head. "It's not your fault. I don't think it's anyone's fault. And I'm sorry for being kind of an ass myself right now. You and Adam have been more helpful than I'd have even asked you to be." She folded her hands on the table and looked down at them. "With Lily gone, I... kinda need you right now more than I ever have." 

Elliot blushed. "Uh... really? I mean, um, I'm happy to be there for you." 

Eda looked back up with a smile, but soon, the moment was interrupted by a paper airplane hitting her on the side of her head. Picking it up and unfolding it, she saw that it was a copy of the same thing she'd found on her locker. 

"Copied by the Hexside free press!" Layden, from a short distance away, looked at her and winked. 

"Alright, I've had enough," Eda said, getting up and walking towards him with a scowl. 

His smile instantly turned to a look of wide-eyed fear. "Oh, my Titan, please don't become an owl beast and tear me apart! Priscilla made me do it!" 

"Figured as much," responded Eda with a shark's grin. "It's okay, Layden. I seek the will, not the hands." 

The anger quickly, finally overcoming the fatigue and giving Eda a boost of energy, she drew a spell circle in the air, smiling as she saw it successfully form. "Abomination, rise! _Ah!"_

As the abomination rose from the ground, Eda's knees suddenly buckled from underneath her as an intense shockwave of pain shot through her. She screamed at the top of her lungs as sharp pains tore through her chest, spreading quickly to her hands and feet. 

"Oh, man, oh, man, it's happening again!" Layden grabbed his camera and was about to set it up to take a picture when Elliot jumped out of her seat and dove towards him, slapping it out of his hands, and as everyone else backed away, she got down in front of Eda and held her hands. 

"Come on," Elliot said, fear rising as the hands she was holding became bigger and more feathery. "We gotta get you out of here." 

"No... time," Eda struggled to respond through gritted teeth as the transformation quickly continued. 

Elliot quickly backed away along with the rest of the crowd as the transformation completed and Eda let out an ear-splitting scream, imitated by the abomination, and all hell broke loose.

* * *

Too much light... too much noise... Why was it so loud and bright? A claw swung down upon one of the creatures below making noise. The creature screams. More noise! _Must get away from noise._

More claws swung down upon other creatures in the way. Another scream. Big purple thing attacking. More screams, more noise. _Must get away!_

Taller creatures came forward. Purple thing came apart. Tall creatures drew a big circle in the air... More light. Light grew brighter. Too much light. 

All went dark...

* * *

Eda's eyes snapped open, the white ceiling up above coming into view. Her entire head ached, but one spot on the side was particularly sore. She lifted her head up, wincing as the pain in her head spread down to her neck, and looked to her side. 

She was on a cot in the school healer's office, and two more students lay on identical cots several feet away from hers. From the distance she saw at, she could make out nasty looking clawmarks on one of the kid's shoulders, and the other student was holding a cloth on the lower part of his arm stained crimson with blood. The school healer was next to the kid with clawmarks on their shoulders, looking closely at the wound. 

The last thing Eda remembered before waking up in the office sank in. She summoned an abomination, she felt the sting that had preceded her two previous transformations... 

Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened. She looked again at the injured students next to her. She remembered what Elliot had told her the previous night, that the owl beast form had sharp talons. The marks on that kid's shoulders were clawmarks. 

_I did that to them._

After wrapping up the wound, Eda caught the healer's eye. "Oh, you've come to. Good." 

"Uh, yea." Eda sat up on the edge of the bed, keeping one of her knees up and resting her arm on it. "What happened?" 

"You summoned an abomination and became the same creature we all saw you become on Friday at the Witches' Duel," the healer explained softly. 

"And I..." Eda looked past him at the two other kids. "I did that to them?" 

The healer nodded. "Unfortunately. There were also three other kids injured who have been taken to the hospital." 

Eda felt her throat tighten. "Wh-what?" 

"They're in stable condition, and the school has convinced the parents not to take any legal action due to the nature of the situation..." 

The healer's voice faded out as a deafening ring in Eda's ears took its place. She had hurt five kids, three of whom were sent to the hospital. She had caused serious harm to people, beyond just the short-term casualties of her pranks and troublemaking. She _hurt_ people. She almost felt like throwing up. 

"Now, we've called your parents to tell them about the situation, and they're coming to pick you up." That caught Eda's attention to what the healer was saying once again and sent her heart racing. "Principal Bump and I know that this wasn't your fault in any way, but in a state like this, it's unsafe for both you and your fellow students for you to be in school. I also reccomend you see a healer as soon as possible." 

Eda curtly nodded and stared blankly at the wall on the other side of the room. Not only was her condition worsening, but she had accidentally hurt five people. And on top of that, her parents knew everything. 

_How could this day get any worse?_

A knock on the door broke her out of her stupor. A few seconds later, Principal Bump walked in, followed by Eda's parents. Her father maintained a straight face, but the burning in his eyes made it clear that there was sheer anger ready to burst out at any moment. Knowing she would regret it, she dared to look at her mother. 

Her mouth was straight as an arrow and her eyes looked like cold marbles. Similar to the face a younger Eda used to compare to a mannequin with how utterly lifeless it looked, the same face she was met with countless times she stared at her mother, silently pleading for help as her father began to release whatever wrath he was holding inside. 

Except this time, it was different. Worse. Her eyes weren't lifeless, they were _cold._

"Come on," she said, her voice quiet and tight. 

Eda quickly looked away, feeling terror rise inside as she got on her shaky feet and followed her parents out the door.

* * *

The staff ride home was silent, the uncomfortable quiet being intensified by Eda's father's erratic control of the staff and her mother's occasional glances back at her, her cold gaze piercing through Eda's head. 

When they came to a landing, her father set his staff aside and opened the door, letting it slam behind him. Her mother opened it up again, and stared down at Eda, waiting for her to follow her in. Eda hesitantly stepped inside, and as soon as her mother shut the door, her father sent her to the ground with a fervent shove. 

"So this is how your behavior we've put up with for the past sixteen years comes to a head, huh?" he asked, venom dripping from his voice. "What the hell is wrong with you?" 

"I don't know," Eda answered, quietly but firmly. 

"You don't know," her father repreated. "You nearly cost us a lawsuit we wouldn't nearly have been able to afford, and you can't even bother to give me an excuse to why. Isn't that just fucking splendid?" As he delived those last two words, he sent a fervent kick to Eda's back and she bit her tongue to prevent from screaming. "And just when I thought that _perhaps_ your behavior was finally improving." 

"Oh, like anything I'd do would ever be good enough for you!" she yelled back, getting back up to her feet. 

"You nearly killed three people! I bet you don't even care! You've always been a sadistic little shit who doesn't care who gets caught up in your stupid-" 

"I didn't do this on purpose!" 

"Then what the hell was it?" 

"I already told you, I don't know!" 

"I do," her father said much more quietly. "You're a monster, is what it is. A vile beast. Nothing, nothing I've done for you has done anything to make you into anything different." 

Eda narrowed her eyes. "You haven't done anything for me." She let out an angry, mirthless laugh. "You say I don't care that I hurt people? Well, you've got a sick kid right in front of you that you don't give a damn about and never have. And what about your other kid, huh? Don't remember seeing any fatherly pride when Lilith made it to the Emperor's Coven." 

"Enough of this! The only reason Lilith made it into the Emperor's Coven was because her only competition was someone who doesn't give a damn about where she's going in life and has squandered _countless_ opportunities and _constantly_ wasted her magical ability to cause trouble and bring shame to her family!" 

He turned his back to her and, once again, spoke more quietly. "Having said that, you are not sick, you're a monster. I also refuse to see you as my child." 

Surprisingly, Eda didn't feel any shock. In fact, she didn't have any reaction. It felt like how she felt on the first day of a new school year, or when grudgby season ended, or even when her parents came home. It was dreadful, but it was something she knew would eventually happen and couldn't be caught off guard by. 

"So you're disowning me, huh?" she asked. 

"Yes," he answered curtly. "You have until sunset to gather whatever you want from your room and leave, and if I see you anywhere near this household after that, you will suffer dire consequences." 

Eda took another glance at her mother, trying her best to keep her face out of her central vision. In her peripheral vision, her mother gave a quick nod. 

"I tried for so long to love you despite your constant issues and troublemaking," she said, her voice soft but her words making Eda feel sick to her stomach. "But this? I have no idea how I would even try to love a creature like you." 

As the two walked away, Eda stared at their backs and stood still. After all the times her father had berated and beaten her and her mother had given her that lifeless stare, they had finally, fully disowned her. And it was all over the thing in her life that had come out of nowhere that she couldn't control. 

Her stomach started to cramp up as she walked to her room and thought about what her mother said. 

_"I have no idea how I would even try to love a creature like you."_

_Am I just a monster?_ she thought numbly.

* * *

There wasn't much in her room that Eda cared enough to take with her. She took her clothes, of course, along with her grudgby all-star poster, her books, her yearbooks, and her photo albums. She also took anything with any significant value. She didn't care about it all, but if she left it, her parents would surely sell it, and they didn't deserve the money it was worth. Most of it fit into her backpack, and the things that didn't, she stuffed into her hair. 

It took about an hour, and she was done long before sunset. Although part of her felt like taking advantage of the spare time and taking a nap, she knew it would be wise to leave the house as soon as possible. 

She took a long look at it as she left. That house held very little good memories. In childhood, any good experiences she had were at her grandmother's house during the summer or when she and Lilith would escape to a friend's house. As she grew older and her parents' absences became longer and more often, it got better with just her and Lilith, but too many bad memories plagued her mind even then for the associations she had with the damned house to be redeemed. She wasn't upset in the slightest to leave it or her parents behind. 

But then why did she feel such a void opening up in her chest? She was free now, and she didn't even make the decision to do it! She had been waiting for them to finally disown her so she'd be free, no strings attached! 

Her mother's words continued to echo in her mind. _"I have no idea how I would even try to love a creature like you."_ She wasn't at her wit's end with Eda's troublemaking schemes, or simply complying with her father's ridiculous demands; she fully, genuinely hated her because she was a monster. 

The images of the injured kids on the cots in the healer's office flashed in her mind, along with the healer telling her that three more were in the hospital. Everyone's terrified faces, flashes in her mind of screaming, and more terror... 

She knew enough to know that what was happening to her was not the Titan's wrath. But then what was it? Was she truly just a monster? 

Eda stepped off the path she was taking into Bonesborough and instead went off towards the woods. _A monster goes where a monster belongs._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo yea, the reason I added another chapter is because there was no way I was gonna fit in what I wanted to add with Lilith (or Elliot, for that matter) in this chapter. Lilith's bit in this fic is actually smaller than what I figured it'd be, but that's what you get for writing by the seat of your pants. But don't worry, the title and summary of this fic will still stand true and she'll get some hopefully satisfying focus next chapter. Next part of the fic, however, I'm thinking will very much be Eda-centric. >:) 
> 
> Second note: I think some of you may have gotten the wrong idea of Lilith and Eda's mom last chapter. That's on me- as I said, it was kinda difficult to get that first impression of her right. I didn't wanna make her overtly horrible like their dad, but I wanted to make it clear that (in this fic's canon, of course) her love is conditional and anything nice she has to say is shallow or backhanded. ...Or, I dunno, maybe with all that said, it was better for you to learn that through this chapter after getting that wrong impression. 
> 
> I tried to write a little blip from Monster!Eda's perspective. I hope it worked. It didn't feel right to write the mini massacre from an outside perspective, but it felt equally wrong to just skip it entirely.


End file.
